I start to feel good, the euphoria is knocking at the door, and I know what’s coming. I know what I have to face. I can either fight the fire with Lithium and Quetiapine or ignore the meds and step out to burn the city down. I could look for reckless vices, kiss everyone who gives me attention, or keep the party going all night long. I never know what’s going to happen next. There have been few times when I’ve been able to control that overwhelming sensation of feeling more alive than ever.

The truth is, the line between managing it and letting it take over is thin. It’s a constant decision: to control the euphoria, or let it control me. It’s hard to stop it when everything feels so intense and alive.