I’ve spent weeks under the effects of 800 mg of quetiapine a day. I can barely think. I struggle to follow a conversation, to read, to focus on anything for more than five minutes. I live trapped in a heavy fog that barely lets me be myself.

Is this better than bipolar disorder? I don’t know. It’s different. There are no big highs or lows, but there’s also nothing. Just a slow emptiness, like living half-anesthetized. Sometimes I think surviving doesn’t always mean being alive.