Living INXS

Fear is the worst emotion, whether it consumes you or disappears entirely. Bipolar disorder pushes you to those extremes. There are times when fear paralyzes you, keeping you locked away for months, unable to face the world. Then comes the…

I’ve lost jobs, money, and dignity more than once. I’ve lost control. But I’ve always gotten back up. Those of us with bipolar disorder know a unique kind of resilience: falling and rising, again and again. We learn out of…

Waking up knowing you resisted the euphoria brings a quiet relief. You avoided the brain’s lure to chase a flawless night, no drinks, no spending, no regret or haze. It’s disorienting to recognize how last night’s self clashes with this…

Sometimes I wonder if, at 52, it still makes sense to hold myself back. To suppress the urge to give in to madness, vice, and fun. I know I don’t have many years left. My kidneys and heart are damaged…

Today, I don’t know how to handle this moment of euphoria. My body craves alcohol, parties, running out to find someone to connect with, to sleep with, to get drunk with. Yet, I have to suppress these immense urges to…

Don’t let anyone minimize your illness. No one knows what it’s like to live with bipolar disorder, and the last thing you need is for others to make you feel like it’s not important or not real. Don’t let them…

I’ve lost count of how many medication cocktails I’ve tried. Lithium has always been the foundation, but in the beginning, it was antidepressants combined with benzodiazepines. Now, it’s mood stabilizers and antipsychotics. They say these help make the episodes less…