I’ve found a way to accept myself and leave behind the madness that emerges during my euphoric moments: moving to a new city, even a new country, every once in a while. I’ve lived in six different countries, and every time I arrive in a new place, I feel renewed, like I’m starting over. It’s a way to escape the spiral that consumes me, a reset that allows me to breathe.
However, not everything is positive. Over time, the feeling of being trapped in the same place, unable to escape my thoughts, my emotions, and my acts of madness, becomes unbearable. After several years in the same spot, sadness, bitterness, and the opinions of others settle in. The sense of being a slave to my own madness haunts me.