Today, I don’t know how to handle this moment of euphoria. My body craves alcohol, parties, running out to find someone to connect with, to sleep with, to get drunk with. Yet, I have to suppress these immense urges to live after spending four months in deep depression, and I’ll do it with 500 mg of Quetiapine besides the daily dose of Lithium.

Today, I want to die because I have to strip away these desires to live, but tomorrow I’ll be glad I didn’t go out closing bars, drinking until half-dead, and waking up in a stranger’s bed.